I ask the following question often when I am doing training,
“How many of you like/want feedback?”
A lot of hands will go up. (You can’t get some people to raise their hand no matter what you ask.)
“How many of you would like a Benjamin?”
Nothing.
For those who do respond to my question, I often reply, “Not so. What you most likely want is for your listeners to say kind things to you.”
This is followed by some nervous laughter, some nods and even some smiles of agreement.
What is Good Feedback?
There are 2 kinds of feedback.
Uplifting and critical. Both are needed.
Don’t fall into the pit of online trolls as your source of feedback. The troll’s purpose in life is to destroy.
Nor do you want just your groupies to be your main source. Their words feel good. But what you need is somone/s to chip away at the shortcomings.
2 Sources of Great Feedback
Your Peers – You want others in your industry, or in a similar job but maybe in a different industry.
You want people who genuinely care about you. Not your ego.
Your true Friends – You want to listen to people who genuinely care about your:
- well-being – they tell you when you say or do something stupid
- reputation – they tell you when you are being offensive and elitist
- performance – they tell you when you are or are not connecting with and being responsive to your audience/clients.
Get these three right and your ego will be just fine.
Norman Vincent Peale said,
The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.
Conclusion
Hang out with people you respect, that you can lean on and be honest with. And they, in turn, will lean on and be honest with you as well.
Then and only then can you get real feedback.