Most Speakers Say They Want Feedback, But What They Really Want is …

ByBill Belew

Most Speakers Say They Want Feedback, But What They Really Want is …

Get Real Feedback

Get Real Feedback

I ask the following question often when I am doing training,

“How many of you like/want feedback?”

A lot of hands will go up. (You can’t get some people to raise their hand no matter what you ask.)

“How many of you would like a Benjamin?”


For those who do respond to my question, I often reply, “Not so. What you most likely want is for your listeners to say kind things to you.”

This is followed by some nervous laughter, some nods and even some smiles of agreement.

What is Good Feedback?

There are 2 kinds of feedback.

Uplifting and critical. Both are needed.

Don’t fall into the pit of online trolls as your source of feedback. The troll’s purpose in life is to destroy.

Nor do you want just your groupies to be your main source. Their words feel good. But what you need is somone/s to chip away at the shortcomings.

2 Sources of Great Feedback

Your Peers – You want others in your industry, or in a similar job but maybe in a different industry.

You want people who genuinely care about you. Not your ego.

Your true Friends – You want to listen to people who genuinely care about your:

  1. well-being – they tell you when you say or do something stupid
  2. reputation – they tell you when you are being offensive and elitist
  3. performance – they tell you when you are or are not connecting with and being responsive to your audience/clients.

Get these three right and your ego will be just fine.

Norman Vincent Peale said,

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.


Hang out with people you respect, that you can lean on and be honest with. And they, in turn, will lean on and be honest with you as well.

Then and only then can you get real feedback.

About the author

Bill Belew administrator

Bill Belew, PhD, MFA, MSc also has a very interesting career. Bill spent a half dozen years in the US Navy climbing the enlisted ranks and making the jump to Lieutenant where he served as a Surface Warfare, Communications and Intelligence Officer. While aboard ship, in the Navy, he sailed enough nautical miles to circumnavigate the globeAfter his military time, Bill spent nearly 20 years in the Far East – Japan, China, Russia and India where he taught university and created and grew his own language school throughout Japan and Far East Russia.Bill speaks to audiences of all size, countless times yearly. He has a network of 4000+ individuals who follow him in the Silicon Valley Bay Area to learn about Social Media/inbound/content marketing. He is a weekly guest on the Social Network Station broadcast to 90+ countries from the University of Nevada Las Vegas.More than 75,000,000 people have viewed over 125,000,000 pages in his network of sites.Bill is represented by 4 cruise ship agencies that send him, literally, anywhere and everywhere in the world, and is a principal of

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