Category Archive Tips

ByRick Deutsch

Cruise ship tenders – necessary and safe, but pay attention

Many ships have very large drafts (depth below the ship).  The buoyancy of the volume of the part of the ship that’s underwater, actually allows the water to push up and keep the ship from sinking.   But massive ships with 30+ foot drafts can be a problem for shallow landings.

Also, some ports just do not have the facilities to host cruise ships at the dock.  The ships must anchor away and bring passengers ashore via small boats called tenders. In reality they are the ship’s lifeboats. Those sturdy craft can handle high seas and are virtually unsinkable.

tender boat

Riding a cruise ship tender

Since you’ll need to ride one to get to the dock, here are some tips on the use of tenders.

Often there can be a small gap between the gangway and the tender. This might cause a careless person to fall. Do NOT attempt to enter until directed and assisted by a crew member. They have life preservers on for a reason!

If you are taking a backpack…put it on – both straps. Keep your hands free to grab something if you lose your balance. Let the crew assist – take their hand. I prefer to grip their mid-arm. If you are carrying a bag, hand it over to a crew member who will place it on the boat. Keep both hands free. There is no need to push to get on. The tenders can hold well over a hundred. The trip can take only 10-15 minutes; what’s the rush?

When you get on…sit where they tell you. They use a FILO program. First in-last off. Don’t bumble around to find the “best seat.” If crew members, (such as wait-staff or housekeepers) are going to get some time off, they will be riding with you and are directed to be the last ones off. They give the paying customers deference.

Bonus: Read what cruise line topics work

Don’t stand up to get photos. Don’t move around. Sorry, but that is risky and prohibited. Sorry again, but the windows are usually filthy with sea spray. A good shot is of your ship as the tender gets closer. If you are near an open door, take it. Or ask one of the staff to take it using your camera.

I usually bring my laptop on ashore. I’m always working and can usually find a bargain on wifi. Most bars and common restaurants have free wifi. Just buy a soda or have lunch. A good idea is to ask the crew where to find wifi. They may stop at the same ports several times per month and know where to go.  A few Cruise Terminal buildings have wifi for free. Many cruise terminals are offering free connections. I am starting to see “Internet Café’s” disappear.  Those would charge $3.00 for an hour. But I guess the free wifi at eateries has made them unattractive.

Here’s a rather slimy thing to do. Often two or more cruises ships are in port. They usually have pop-up tents for guests to wait unit the next tender comes in.  If you are on Ship A and Ship B has an area right next to yours…check if they have drinks or cookies. They won’t know the better. Yummy.

Finally, did you know that when Elvis was alive, he used to cruise a lot…and he got to really got to like the tender rides. In fact he wrote a song about one:  “Love me Tender!”

Got comments? Check back Mondays for more cruises tips. Send us a comment and learn more about our programs. A free cruise for two? Just by speaking?  You’re kidding?  Nope.

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ByRick Deutsch

4 things you should bring on your next cruise

I learned that their are few items that any speaker needs to bring on a cruise to make life much easier. Besides the obvious – like your laptop, your should pack:
Steph Curry

Be your best – like Steph Curry

1. A memory stick with ALL your talks on it. Not only the 4 or so you are going to give, but any others you might have. You may be asked to give more. Your PC may die – mine did and I had to borrow one from another speaker. It went fine but  was bit tacky.  Without my USB stick I would have been hosed. Extemporaneous without images is pretty poor. All the ships require PowerPoint or other presentation tool.

2. Your own slide clicker. Don’t expect the ship to provide one. I put a glob of glue on the > NEXT SLIDE button so I don’t have to look down at it – I can feel it. It is REAL tacky to accidentally hit the back slide.  Amateurish.
3. A bright green laser pointer. If you are in a big theater, the wimpy red ones on your slide clicker will not illuminate well – especially  on a colored image.  I highly recommend the internet to buy these. I have two. They came from China for about $11.00.  They take 2 AAA batteries and will almost burn a hole in the screen. When using it, do not wave it around. Don’t wiggle it. Just point it at the thing you want and hold it there. Talk through what you are pointing at. When the ship records your talk for playback in the rooms, the audience will NOT see your pointer, so  short “On the right side of the screen is the Lithuanian Fruit Fly.”  Bring extra batteries as they are so high power they last about 3 presentations. I take out the batteries when traveling to prevent them from accidentally turning on.  I keep both at the dais.
4. A small analog clock.   You need to get off the stage when they say. Not 5  minutes later. End your talk even you are not finished. Fake the last missed slides.  They won’t know. A small analog clock is easy to read from a distance. You will not be able to see the time on “Presenter View” and a smart phone that rests on the podium and goes dark will not cut it.
We can help you get on board. We are now also working with a UK based agency to provide speakers to their client ships. We’ll prepare you to succeed.

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ByRick Deutsch

Tips on sailing out of Southampton, United Kingdom, Part 2

England is neat….but I hear the traffic is as bad as Silicon Valley.  Our freeways are jammed until about 10 am now!  “We need the jobs.”  Really? What about the quality of life? Apple, Facebook and Google are hiring like there’s a boom on. Now Google plans to build a 22,000 worker campus in downtown San Jose.

That’s my rant for today…I’m a no-growth guy.  The message is to be prepared for traffic heading to Southampton.  If you leave in the a.m., you will be wise as the bulk is heading into London.

As promised in the last blog – here’s Part 2 of our tips on getting to Southampton.

Tip 3 – Traffic Circles everywhere. When you get off the “motorway,” i.e. the “M4.” Most of the the arterials like the “A383,” are controlled by “Traffic Circles,” aka “Roundabouts.” The problem for us yanks is that we are driving on the left side and are thrust into a counter-clockwise flow….then need to come out of it to our left and into the next left lane. This can take some thinking.  Don’t chew gum and try this at the same time.  You may have to continue circling until you have the confidence to get out.

Tip 4. – They use diesel fuel. Before you turn your car in at the port, you need to fill it up. DO THIS on your own. The car rental place will gouge you real bad. Pay attention. Your car is probably diesel. To throw you off, the GASOLINE pump hoses are green.  In the USA they are black.  This could be a costly mistake.

Stonehenge

Be sure to visit Stonehenge on your way to Southampton

Tip 5 –  When you check out your rental car – be sure to have them mark prior damages. Check the left front wheel carefully. Have them mark the dings on the wheel down.  Americans have a tendency to drift to the left. And it’s hard to make turns without dinging the wheel.  You don’t want to  be charged.

Tip 6 – You need to have an International Driving Permit – not to rent the car, but to show to a “Bobby” if you get stopped. This is the dumbest thing ever – you need to have your normal Driver License anyway. The rental car company doesn’t care –but the cops must.  They cost $30 at AAA plus two passport photos. A rip-off!!

All for today – give us a shout!

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