We are here to help you get speaking assignments on cruise ships. What to do in the meantime? Get a few talks written. Then rehearse in front of your dog. Not just by yourself. When you feel you have it down pat — don’t memorize anything – you should KNOW it and just talk to your dog as if it were a casual conversation.
Next – get a live audience. Service clubs LOVE noon speakers. Contact their programs person. You’ll get real practice and a free rubber chicken lunch!
Clip and save this section. Contact:
Concatenated Order of Hoo-Hoo
Dramatic Order of the Knights of Khorassan
Epsilon Sigma Alpha International
Imperial Court System
International Order of Alhambra
International Organization of Good Templars (or IOGT – EST. 1776)
Jaycees or Junior Chamber of Commerce
Knights of Columbus
Knights of Pythias
Lions Clubs International
Round Table Club
Sons of Norway
United States Junior Chamber
Woodmen of the World
As a speaker you need to be ready to take L O N G flights to meet up with your ship. It’s easy to kick back and snooze or read a book for the 10 hour flight to Athens.
I suggest you don’t sleep to much (Unless it’s a read-eye) or watch movies that are “airline” bad….well, they ARE on airlines after all. If you can, get an upgrade seat in coach that will let your laptop open wide.
I am writing this on an AeroMexico flight to Chili. Yes, another free cruise.
My first recommendation. Get GMAIL. It is https – very secure to keep those Eastern Europeans out of your knickers. I realize that Google knows everything we’ve ever done…but at some point, you gotta cave. They have so many useful tools that it’s hard to live in a Google-free world.
Gmail has the best spam blocker. If you get a spam email….that link is sent to all other Gmail accounts to block it for them also! They are put in your spam folder waiting your final decision to trash them. I scan them but rarely find one that is a false positive. I know folks with other accounts – well, Yahoo and EarthLink are two – that say they get over 40 bogus emails in their inbox daily.
The other advantage is you can invoke “Gmail off-line.” With this free tool, you can read old emails and reply or send new ones on the plane when you are disconnected. They are cached and blasted out when you are next connected. At that time, your incoming messages are zipped into your off-line “in” box. Neato torpedo. You can disconnect and read/answer at your convenience. This saves a lot of $$$ since you are off line most of the time.
Google Drive and Docs allow you to send huge files (PowerPoints) that don’t crank out bit at a time. I’ve gotten away form Dropbox. It;s more hassle than DRIVE, and easy for the other person to open.
On a cruise ship you may be paying 75-cents a minute for internet. That bites the big one. In our seminar class, we show you how to (maybe) get it way cheaper.
This is not the 1990’s. Things change everywhere and that includes how to dress on cruise ships.
If you are reading this, you probably want to be a speaker. Free cruises for two are a good deal. If not, welcome – we provide a lot of real-people news that you can use.
OK, in the real ”old days” people wore a coat and tie all the time. Those days ended with the moon landing. Today, anything goes – within bounds. Not that long ago, we wore that uniform to work…then we saw casual Friday, then Hawaiian-shirt Friday…now if you show up in more than torn jeans and a TShirt you are subject to stares.
There are 4 classes of cruise ships: 1. All inclusive, 2. Luxury, 3. Contemporary, and 4. Premium. If you can’t guess the difference, 1 & 2 are expensive. Think dressy. 3 & 4 are cheaper and they attract passengers that may not even own a tie, so they allow more basic clothes.
Class 4 ships entertain the “club med” crowd and don’t use speakers, so we’ll skip them. Here are the basic definitions:
Casual: Sport shirts and slacks for men, sundresses or pants for women.
Smart Casual: Jackets and ties for men, dresses or pantsuits for women.
Formal: Suits and ties or tuxedos for men, cocktail dresses for women.
Bare feet or bathing suits are not allowed at any time in the dining room and shorts are not permitted at dinner.
Formal Nights are being phased out. Hauling a 10-pound tuxedo monkey-suit cuts into the 50 lb airline limit. Many women (my wife) does not like to pack 2-3 gowns just to impress total strangers. I get by with a dark suit for my talks and the formal nights – if we even attend. Hamburgers by the pool work for us.
As a speaker, you represent the ship – look good at all times. Toss in 3 neckties and you answer the mail. Ladies – you are on your own here. We have no women on staff at SpeakOnCruises. Send us an application!
The former Captain of the Costa Concordia will be wearing an orange suit – after appeals, he’s now marching off to serve 16-years in an Italian prison. READ the backgrounder.